Selling confidence

are you found
lacking, or
think you are?
if so, we’ve got
something for
act now,
before you
think delay.
buyers swear
by it,
on it
and even
to it.
just make one
easy payment,
ten times,
to fill a space
you didn’t
know existed.
we designed
a  solution to
a problem we
may have created.
we are not liable
for any damages,
physical or mental,
because, let’s face it,
it’s made in

Be kind to your bathtub

i’ve got lint between my toes.
it doesn’t bother me so much.
i think my bathtub minds, though.
water being the main
source of consumption,
i’m sure its not happy
with foreign objects.
i know that hair makes it sick.
well, it’s got to be a lot of hair.
and not short hair, long hair.
there’s only so much it can take
before the dirt returns.
and remember
delint before bathing,
no need for messes.

Tagline chips away Pringles

working, i was unpacking a box full of Pringles.
upon the transporting package was the slogan,
“you don’t just eat them.”
what the hell does that mean?
i’m not to sure what else i’d do with a chip.
i don’t doubt there are many other uses
for chips, but i can’t actually fathom
actually realizing them.
i’m curious in knowing the thought process
of Pringles promotional team.
did they happen to use the chips as a
some sort of sex fetish?
dip dip maybe?
the chip is not meant for spreading, butit’s worth the effort.
or Pringles make for comfy pillows?
wait, could it be that they’re used as confetti?
regardless, i’m lost at their solution.
if you have a better idea, share,
it’s most likely better than theirs.