Unfair treatment of cleaning products

would you feel comfortable if you knew that every inanimate object you have in your possession is actually a living thing? i usually think like this, more specifically about cleaning tools. take the vacuum for instance, do you really want to be sticking you head in dirty dark corners of a basement or have your face run along a spill splattered floor? I feel guilty for subjecting them to their established utility because i’m just using them out of laziness. although, i guess i can’t feel to guilty for using them, seeings how i continually employ them. if they didn’t do such a great job, i would have no need for their services. luckily i don’t want to clean, so i use a tool to do my work. i can only hope that the vacuum doesn’t talk to the plunger. no reason for a strike.

The Lived-In Clothing Service

I got a rip starting at the knee of my one of pant legs. Three years in the making. I thought of those designer clothes that cost a lot of money and come equipped with holes. If I’m going to pay hard earned money, and a lot of it, to an article of clothing, I want all the material and quality I can get.

How about this, I can offer you a service that will wear in your clothes, thus emulating the “live-in” look? It’ll cost about $10 per article of clothing, and $40 for a whole outfit. Sadly, this service is presently offered to those sized small, but soon I’ll offer to those who are bigger.

Think of all that wasted time and money spent trying to earn those rips. I understand that you are a busy person and need results, without the investing of time. With this service, I have the time to produce results. I’ll wear your clothing to the right amount of hobo-chic needed at an honest price that doesn’t hurt you. Once clothing is of desired disarray, I’ll personally wash clean your clothes.

Think of me as being tough on your clothes while being kind to your wallet. If you want the look but can’t justify the price, give me a call 1-800-IWEAR-4-U. Because we know what genuine looks like.