Doctor cramps

i’ve been experiencing stomach problems, which have been on again off again over some months now. these pains have lasted anywhere from 10 seconds to 5 minutes. by no means long, but damn, do they take you by surprise. well i was lucky  enough to be on break from them for roughly 3-4 weeks when the pain came back. although this time, it was stronger than ever. it woke me up and curled me into a ball. normally it goes away when in fetal position but it just stayed. finally it subsided, somewhat, and i was able to fall asleep. the following night it hit me again and this time for longer. i was concerned and wanted to make time for the doctor, but never did, so i figured tonight i’ll go to ER. luckily the wait wasn’t to long. i was greeted by the doctor, who looked tired and annoyed, and asked me what the problem was. i explained to him what i was experiencing and compared it to my previous experiences with it. he listlessly said it was muscle spasms and to just take some muscle relaxants. okay i thought, but what i really thought was, this doesn’t feel like a muscle spasm. i got home, and contort myself in a position to sleep that alleviates the pain before i have to wake up to go to work. the pain hits me at breakfast, but i’m able to curb it by folding into myself. the pain is minor during work, just a cramping. tomorrow is wednesday and i’ve got time to go to the clinic to get my stitches removed and ask about my stomach. i drive to the clinic and wait to be served. when the doctor sees me he says i could be developing an ulcer or have a bacteria. i told him i’m going to see my family physician on friday and he said ask him about running some tests. well doesn’t friday come and i’ve been plagued with this damned pain all day and night. mind you, the night pain is worst than the day. anyways, i go see my doctor, who i wait longer to see than to consult with. he tells me that he sees no reason to do any tests. in conclusion, if i’m still feeling pain, he didn’t say for how long, nor did i ask, that i had his number and to book an appointment. well isn’t this just great? three professionals with three different conclusions, none of which has appeased my mind or body. i hope that it is nothing, like an ulcer, and that it’s a matter of a dietary change. but if not, i’m really disappointed in the lack of similarity of opinion. i value much of what i know and trust to science, and yet in this instance i’ve experienced glaring flaws with each doctors diagnosis. i guess, if it is something serious, only stool will tell.

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The godly science of scientific godliness

god, do you exist?
science, can you explain?
well i’ve heard both sides of the story,
and all i hear is jargon.
you’ve furthered my confusion and
have not cleared my doubt.
you both sound correct.
but then again that’s coming
coming from a believing not believer.

Having faith without religion

I value both science and faith. Heck, I place my faith in science because it deems itself “truthfully” factual. But my quickie isn’t about who’s right and wrong. As a matter of fact, it’s about my first experience with religious faith.

I was in grade 5 at the time. My family and I moved to a new community, within the same city, but I was enrolled in a Catholic school this time, instead of a public French immersion school. At the time, I didn’t know there was any difference. I figured school was school. And at that age, school sucked, with the exception for gym and recess. All I know was that I was bumped a level in French class which put me at a level I was accustomed to.

To be truthful, I was sort of happy, yet sad, that I didn’t have a half day of French. Anyways, due to the nature of this school, we did things like “pray” and “mass.” I had no idea what these were. I thought to myself, why are these people touching themselves and why do we have to sit through this boring presentation? Who’s the guy in the robes?

It’s funny to me because my parents were both baptized, yet it seems to me, now, that they we not raised in strict religious household. During this discovery, my dad’s mom took me to her church. I remember going because it was an adventure with grandma. While their, I recall partaking in sacrament. I just followed everyone else, and what do you know, I fit right in, regardless of true belief.

So all this time growing up, I knew nothing of religious faith. I mean, I had a run in at my 7th birthday. I had an Indian friend who couldn’t eat the pepperoni pizza my parents ordered, but at the time, I didn’t know it was do to religious beliefs. I was just happy we had something else for him to eat.

Back to religion at school, I ended up just following the rest and not actually believing. I guess you could call me a heathen, and still can, but at the time I had no idea what was going on – so to fit in I copied others. Over the years I realized my lack of understanding and knowledge was acceptable and common. I therefore partook in their customs out of respect.

Later, I attend a Catholic highschool and still partake in their customs. It wasn’t until the 11th grade that I’m introduced to a variety of religions. Wow, you mean people believe in all these different things? I think it was then that I slowly developed my interest in philosophy. As I see it, philosophy, aside from being a lover a wisdom, it is about a particular way of life, be it religious or secular.

For me, the exposure to new religions opened my mind up to the possibilities of self satisfaction and acceptance. Whether or not there was a definite category to house my interests, there were many places in which to satisfy my interests that I could partake in and feel natural.

I still wear a religious marked necklace that my grandma gave me. Why? It’s not because I believed but because she did and I loved her. So in showing her my love, I wear this necklace. I’m glad that I went to a Catholic school because I now garner a better understanding of a religion I don’t fully support.

I endorse religion for it’s positivity, but I feel that many have taken it’s ultimate purpose and utilized it as a way perpetuate negative manipulation. Loving thy neighbour doesn’t seem wrong to me, so why are wars being created in the name of God?

I may not be an absolute believer, but I do hold faith for those who believe. It seems to me that neither science nor religion can explain everything. Why not work together towards an understanding that satisfies one another conception? But whatever, let’s fight about it instead. It gives us something to do until we die.

Advertising looking for talent, not dignity.

The song Designer from Queens of the Stone Age I think is a fair observation of my age. Being a recent graduate of design, I always knew that my skill of promotion could be used as a negative, instead of a beneficial and informative tool. I don’t mind being the tool for another, as long as I agree with their ideals. And many of these corporate ideals, all amount to dollars.

It seems like information can translate to a denominational value, but at what cost? Human life? Natural habit? Privacy? No, yet I’m a product of this beast. And who can I work with that’ll be willing to pay me for similar ideals and skills I can bring in combating this disinformation? Do companies, not charities, exist that don’t promote omnipotent, soulless, disingenuous corporations? Due to PR, a lot of companies want to look responsible, but really, how many are?

This is all opinion and has no basis in fact. I’m sure some companies are contributing to the common good, but how long did it take them? And what are their real motives for such a decision?

I work at Shoppers Drug Mart, and they advertise being a part of ending women’s cancer, or cancer in general. But, they want your money first in their pockets before you donate to the wholesome cause. If you are genuinely concerned with cancer, would you not contribute without the aid of some corporate message?

I knew the whole time that I was getting into an soulless industry, but it’s the only art I’m proficient in. Maybe that’s because I’ve been sold to since I was an infant. And thanks to social media and the fact that the cellular phone has become a bodily necessity, we can now get 24 hour advertisementing.

And even if you don’t have all this technology, there are those who’ve contracted the ad disease and transfer their knowledge onto you. As much as you resist, their efforts double. Their tactics improve with each psychological discovery. Science has much to offer, and much of that can be to the detriment to the human race.

Advertising, when improperly utilized, studies a habit and designs itself to activate such triggers within ones psyche. This then gives them the power to influence us, even when we are sternly against what we buy.

I’m not immune to this working, I’ve mentioned this in a previous blog. This has been constructed many years before me and how they’ve now become so ingrained within our consciousness, that we accept it as being natural. When in fact, advertising is so unnatural, at least in these falsified forms promoting monetary gain for a singular corporate body.

This is not a valid reason for me not to apply to design firms, but it does weigh heavily upon my mind. I need to make money to live and part of that is contributing to what already exists. I already work part-time for a company who spreads faster than herpes. At least I’m just stocking shelves and not actually designing visual aids for programmable consumerism.

Maybe it’s just a matter of me maturing, or accepting this predestined fact. But as far as I know, there can be something better. How many billion people in this world and not a single person can come up with a better model of business? I’m not implying that such an idea is easy, but taking into account the amount of people, I would like to think there are many intelligent people who are capable in working up a possible solution.

For those who garner a progressive and positive ideal for the future, those are the people I would gladly service and support. But since I’m someone with no “real life experience” I must submit myself to some corporation.

A nuturing chemically induced reaction

If experience is one a chemical reaction, therefore, life seems to be a volatile mixture awaiting the whimsy of scientific definition. Since I do not whole heartedly disagree with science facts as “truth,” I feel compelled to add and subtract my own chemicals to this unstable mix. The consequences being the results of latent ideals or pensive ideas, I’m fine with the personal sacrifices needed in hopes to finding something meaningful.

The PI Institute

So what is the PI institute and what’s it good for? Besides being a really interesting designed building, it’s the Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics. I’m surprised that my small town, when compared to Toronto, has a place where all over the world come and discuss/work on physics. The website has more detail about what it’s all about, but my main focus is on the architecture itself. Montreal-based Saucier + Perrotte is responsible for the creation of this 65,000 square foot building and Teeple Architects are responsible for the Stephen Hawking Centre expansion. On a side note, the newly built YMCA building’s library was also designed by Teeple Architects. The PI building received a Governor General’s Medal for Architecture for the design in May 2006.

DSC00092-1 Perimeter_Institute_Pano_edit2 Perimeter-Institute-1a Stephen Hawking Centre at Perimeter Institute - September 20, 2010 - 2 ResizedThe photos are not mine, and I do not know who are the rightful owners of them,. Again, I do not take credit for these images. I intend to upload my own images, but I’m going to say now that they will be covered in snow due to the season. Poor timing has left me unable to snap a few shots, but it will be done.

“Neuromarketing” new development in advertising

This article is about modern scientific neurology studies that advertisers are utilizing in hopes to better predict how their products will be perceived by the general masses. I found this article extremely interesting because our the new ways science is being used to understand the human mind. Here’s the link to the article.