Emotionally reasoned logic, disorientates compass

i tried not to get attached.
during the budding,
i told myself this will pass.
as things progressed,
i developed a connection.
mind you, this link
seemed faulty.
it wasn’t until the end that
i became fully invested.
i was told i took to long,
and my currency deplorable.
defeated, i ceased payments.
i saw no point investing
into a sinking ship.
deception, of myself
and of another.
care was withdrawn
and slowly with it,
the false bonds built, too.
uncertainty and distrust
lead to faulty foundation.
stability fluctuates,
under its
insecure structure,
for balance.

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Thinking i was better before i thought

the medication isn’t working.
i take it and nothing happens.
at least not what i’m expecting.
that can’t be.
countless others have said
that such medicine
works.
is it because they think it’s working?
i’m no chemist.
i don’t have the proper learning
for such responses.
i’ve always thought what i am,
unless my body disagrees.
if i think hard enough, it hurts.
when i don’t think, it’s fine.
i could just be thinking that
i’m right when
i’m wrong.
i think i need help,
although my body disagrees.
no that can’t be right.
there’s schooling for nature.
they know it better than it
knows itself.