Tag Archives: other

Putting you before me except after, let’s see

what’s worth all this fighting and control if what we fight for and try to control is extinguished the moment we die? of course, we should not give up on living an ideal of a good life, but is there a way to attain what we want without hurting others? in a similar fashion of lessening our environmental footprint, can we not take the same precautions towards that of our fellow neighbours? there are things i want in life and in order to get them i must put myself first. although, in doing so i feel like i’ve now become an obstacle in someone else’s pursuit. i question my self-worth and don’t see why i should value myself over another. progress cannot be made atop of faulty foundation. i guess i really should just take stock and invest it in a stronger framework. i know that where i’m going, there’s no need to rush, nor will i have to  cut in line. the finish line is marked, but the end is indeterminate. i might a well suck the life out of each second because that’s how long it all takes.

Dying as i have lived

do you know what you’re doing? i wish i could say yes, but no, no i do not. wait, what am i talking about? of course i know what i’m doing: i’m living. surely we all have a different opinion on what qualifies as living, but for me, as long as you’re breathing, you’re living. i know many would argue against this fact, but technically, to me at least, it seems like a self evident truth. now, what you do while you’re breathing, that’s a whole other story. maybe that’s what people mean by the statement, “get a life.” if it was like Mario world, heck, i would collect the hell out of those green 1 up mushrooms, but since this is not video game land, i’ll just live within myself. it’s hard to understand others when one cannot understand oneself. i seem to like things and not like things and so do other, yet i can’t find someone of which makes me feel wholly similar or comfortable. i might divulge personality to another, but that is in hopes to find reciprocation. alas, i’m left alone and wanting. for what, i cannot comprehend, nor does another. alone i was born, and alone i shall die. half knowing myself and those of whom i consorted with.

Starting an end to the beginning.

i knew it wouldn’t last. of course, with a remark like that, isn’t any wonder it didn’t? i suppose it is negative, but as far as i know, all things must pass. i knew from the beginning, whatever it was we were undertaking, trying to develop, it was just some rudimentary response. i didn’t know why you chose me, especially of all the likely candidates. i make ordinary look adventurous. reluctantly, i accepted your proposition, waiting in silence for the inevitable end. to start at the end, would be an end to the start. we are as much to blame for what happens to others as for what happens to us. i can attempt slander or spread disinformation, but such an act is undeserving, misguided and cowardly. my strife is my own and should not be called your name. patience has given you wings.