Thinking crowds a space.

it’s feeling a bit stuffy in here.
yes, it’s crowded,
but i don’t think that’s why.
it’s been hot all day,
so it can’t be the temperature.
being that it’s hot,
i’m wearing the least amount
of clothing acceptable on a man.
the beverages are ice cold,
albeit not frozen.
so what the hell is it
that is making me
suffocate this heat?
i’ve got an idea.
one. two. three…
whoa, that feels better.
wait, where did i put my wallet?

Tilted upright

everything is on a bit of a slant.
a discreet incline i’ve seemed to
greatly misjudged.
walking askew against the grain,
and it hits me.
the level is fine.
it is i who is off.
where do i go for recalibration?
i can go to a mechanic for my car,
or a dry-cleaner for my clothes.
i would go to the shrinks, but
i’m feeling small already.
what i need is to grow.
i think it best to follow
prospering growers.

Thinking i was better before i thought

the medication isn’t working.
i take it and nothing happens.
at least not what i’m expecting.
that can’t be.
countless others have said
that such medicine
is it because they think it’s working?
i’m no chemist.
i don’t have the proper learning
for such responses.
i’ve always thought what i am,
unless my body disagrees.
if i think hard enough, it hurts.
when i don’t think, it’s fine.
i could just be thinking that
i’m right when
i’m wrong.
i think i need help,
although my body disagrees.
no that can’t be right.
there’s schooling for nature.
they know it better than it
knows itself.

Drawing experience a line at a time

Recently, I’ve slowly tried to re-acquaint myself with the drawing fundamentals, more specifically gesture drawing. My hope is to infuse my final characters with more dynamism and depth. I know that there’s a right way and a wrong way, but since art is so open ended, what’s right could be wrong and vice versa.

As I see it, art is a very large umbrella. Art, be it through equations or delineation, is just another means of expression. Granted, we all have the ability to express ourselves, but the way in which we convey meaning lays an artist. I’m having a difficulty labeling myself an “artist” when what I express and my mode of communication can be emulated by many. Heck, I’m probably stealing from someone right now and I don’t even know it.

Let’s add some dynamism and depth I’m practicing with. So this past Tuesday I had an elderly women accuse me of trying to knife her while I was at work. Keep in mind, I’m at my place of employment that is equipped with cameras, plentiful employees and roaming customers, everywhere. To make a long story short, I was handing my box cutter to a fellow co-worker when the woman accused me of attempted murder. Luckily, the police mentioned that they’ve had to deal with this specific woman before, do to their mental illness, that I felt a little more at ease.

This has been a hot topic recently, but I’d never been subjected to such an acute situation. First off, it scared me. Was she serious or not? Secondly, who does she know who can do me harm? Thirdly, how do I respond? I realize now that my response to the situation was just adding aggravation to the unstable woman. Lastly, and I hoped against, was having to defend myself. I know, from a 5″2′, at most, woman aged around 55-65 years old. Come on, who wants to knock out their own grandma?

Surely this is not a dynamic gesture drawing, but I hope it illustrates a difficulty I’m finding in categorizing myself, amongst many well-deserved and honored people true to the title of artist. I’m not an artist, just someone who appreciates those who are.