If i were a sex superhero

i would not be:
the energizer bunny;
i work hard,
but i do not last.
i would not be:
a stallion;
i might buck,
but only a $6.50.
i would not be:
a stud-muffin;
bran, oat, and raisin
lacks attention.
i would not be:
the karma sutra;
regardless of position,
i go in all the same.
i would not be:
the BDSM;
i don’t think
pain is pleasure.
i would not be:
freely swinging;
more than one
is too much.
i would be:
give what i can;
to not strive
is to be selfish.
i would be:
put you first;
all the more reason
to come second.
i would be:
save room;
i like to eat
out for dessert.
i would be:
listen;
responding accordingly
to your body language.
i would be:
take any view;
as long as you
feel comfortable.
i would be:
never invade;
consent is
key to your lock.
finally,
i would be:
myself;
in hopes that
that is enough.

Starting an end to the beginning.

i knew it wouldn’t last. of course, with a remark like that, isn’t any wonder it didn’t? i suppose it is negative, but as far as i know, all things must pass. i knew from the beginning, whatever it was we were undertaking, trying to develop, it was just some rudimentary response. i didn’t know why you chose me, especially of all the likely candidates. i make ordinary look adventurous. reluctantly, i accepted your proposition, waiting in silence for the inevitable end. to start at the end, would be an end to the start. we are as much to blame for what happens to others as for what happens to us. i can attempt slander or spread disinformation, but such an act is undeserving, misguided and cowardly. my strife is my own and should not be called your name. patience has given you wings.

Money loves lowest common denominator

don’t ask me to love you.
it’s not that i can’t,
it’s that i don’t.
i gave you what i could,
but you told me it wasn’t enough.
you needed more.
i’ve come to realize,
you needed more.
money was your barometer,
and it was your plan.
i’m a stooge,
and who better to provide you with easy money,
than those who will work for you.
you say you “love” me but you
only love the money.
when the money stops,
so does the love.
sadly, i now have to think of
love as a comodity.

Faces of work have families… hey mom?

I want to state that I do not know all the women I work with on an extremely personal level, but from what they’ve cared to reveal they are damned strong. Regardless the face they wear to work, I just hope their families are aware. I work with a majority of women, which to be honest, considering my being, is great but unnervingly shaky. I feel, at times, privy to the information gained through conversation, that their families don’t get straight forth. The experiences of the women I work with I find sometimes contrary to their work demeanor. The separating of public and private definitely becomes obvious. Beyond our defensive filters, I find truly loving people who rightfully earn what their now tasked with. Whether they could change things or anything, they’ve continued with their decision with due diligence and a sense of pride. As stated earlier, I do not know these women intimately, but I think that regardless of fault, which I’m a certain fault, these women are capable of enduring pains I’ve no comprehension with. Why do I feel the need to type this? I think after 6 years of relation with these women my judgements have changed. I thought that I’d just work a few year with them and pass to the next. But I’ve slowly accustomed myself to their consistency in my daily routine, that I recognize, apart from doing work at a job, I’m in proximity of strong individuals. Now they seem to act positively towards me, but I sense that there is more to what their allowing me to physically see. I don’t feel it is in my right or business to question peoples personal affairs without their consent, but there have been times where I’ve shied away from distress I’ve sensed from coworkers. I also think I don’t pry is due to lack of experience I’ve accumulated in relation to my coworkers. I can’t relate to marriage, kids, even though I still feel and think like a kid, bills, I live at home with minimal things I must pay for, nor car, house or any other Western “adult” problems. I just don’t know how to approach them with genuine interest, so I may come off as disinterested or uncaring. I’ve lost track of what I initially sent forth in accomplishing because my mom felt it necessary to come down and check in on me. Funny, yet it’s disrupted my train to run off it’s rail. She felt the need to comment on my tired face, an felt compelled to recount our BBQ at my aunt’s. I take it that she was happy that I decided to visit her family with her instead of blowing them off like my dad. I can and cannot blame him for his reasons. Okay, so thanks to mom, and mother’s out there, one’s who have to deal with a family life and their life, I want to give you my sincerest thanks. I know mother’s day has passed, but it seems to me that everyday should be treated like mother’s day, ideally.