Feelings of happy anger

they say it’ll get better,
and i’m sure it will.
but what do i know?
i’m resistant to change,
i’m closed off from the new.
i repeat my daily rituals,
it’s my habit.
i’d like to think my feelings
but when i do, they seem irrational.
don’t get me wrong,
i’m content, albeit it be fleeting,
i do, however, find that i’m
quick to anger.
what a waste of energy.
but like i said,
my rituals are my habit,
and being unopened to change,
the anger remains.

Art of a habit

i must apologize,
i’m touching myself again.
it’s hard not to.
i’m plagued with an insatiable urge,
but once entertained,
it passes.
trying to ignore it,
makes me focus on it more.
creativity is much the same to me,
i’ll have urges that come in waves,
and i tend them when i need.
it seems i have more habits
than i realize.