No, this isn’t personalized, but regard the following sentiments as heartfelt, although never publicly affirmed. Surprise at your passing like or indifferent follow, I shy away from such actions as my virtual peers. This shyness is a euphemism for fear, one based in deadlock reason. Logic permits my fears, regardless how irrational. Take it as, “being irrationally logical.” So for all people to don me attention, I’m appreciative your your action and apologize to you for not returning continuation. I think myself fear, and there it is. The foundation has remained, supporting an adapting aesthetic geared in perpetuation of something misunderstood. We all see dots, it’s in how we connect them that constellations are made. Thanks again for your time. There’s only so much validation one can receive from conceptually stagnate family. It takes an idiot to call an idiot. I call idiot on myself.
I want to state that I do not know all the women I work with on an extremely personal level, but from what they’ve cared to reveal they are damned strong. Regardless the face they wear to work, I just hope their families are aware. I work with a majority of women, which to be honest, considering my being, is great but unnervingly shaky. I feel, at times, privy to the information gained through conversation, that their families don’t get straight forth. The experiences of the women I work with I find sometimes contrary to their work demeanor. The separating of public and private definitely becomes obvious. Beyond our defensive filters, I find truly loving people who rightfully earn what their now tasked with. Whether they could change things or anything, they’ve continued with their decision with due diligence and a sense of pride. As stated earlier, I do not know these women intimately, but I think that regardless of fault, which I’m a certain fault, these women are capable of enduring pains I’ve no comprehension with. Why do I feel the need to type this? I think after 6 years of relation with these women my judgements have changed. I thought that I’d just work a few year with them and pass to the next. But I’ve slowly accustomed myself to their consistency in my daily routine, that I recognize, apart from doing work at a job, I’m in proximity of strong individuals. Now they seem to act positively towards me, but I sense that there is more to what their allowing me to physically see. I don’t feel it is in my right or business to question peoples personal affairs without their consent, but there have been times where I’ve shied away from distress I’ve sensed from coworkers. I also think I don’t pry is due to lack of experience I’ve accumulated in relation to my coworkers. I can’t relate to marriage, kids, even though I still feel and think like a kid, bills, I live at home with minimal things I must pay for, nor car, house or any other Western “adult” problems. I just don’t know how to approach them with genuine interest, so I may come off as disinterested or uncaring. I’ve lost track of what I initially sent forth in accomplishing because my mom felt it necessary to come down and check in on me. Funny, yet it’s disrupted my train to run off it’s rail. She felt the need to comment on my tired face, an felt compelled to recount our BBQ at my aunt’s. I take it that she was happy that I decided to visit her family with her instead of blowing them off like my dad. I can and cannot blame him for his reasons. Okay, so thanks to mom, and mother’s out there, one’s who have to deal with a family life and their life, I want to give you my sincerest thanks. I know mother’s day has passed, but it seems to me that everyday should be treated like mother’s day, ideally.