here hey, over here.
whoa, you’re a bit far?
naw, not really. you can still read me.
i guess you’re right. why over there?
i’m just trying something new to me.
i see. how’s it working out for yeah?
looks different, but it feels the same.
masculinity,
what does that
mean to me?
embarrassment.
being a male actually
makes me afraid
and doubtful.
portrayal of “alpha male”
tendencies, coupled with
the fear that males
are inherently dangerous
to a woman’s safety
makes me reluctant
to consort with women.
why?
i’ve heard stories,
from female classmates,
who have been harassed
by perverse males
while traveling by bus.
apparently they are
unaware of unwarranted
discomfort.
i’ve never considered anyone below me,
in fact, quite the opposite.
but with this new found insight,
i’ve taken a further step back
when dealing with women,
knowing that any good
intentioned act i attempt,
could be misconstrued
as a negative.
thus, i must guard myself
from misconception
because those before me
perpetuate an ideal
that holds no value.
she spoke of
fairness and equality.
let’s discuss them,
i said.
she ignored
me.
look there.
where?
over there.
over where?
i said, over there.
can you be more specific?
no.
why not?
i just wanted to make you look.
so, you’re an asshole?
yes…
full of shit.
i had a great time last night
are you okay with it?
i hope i didn’t offend
my filter was
drowned in alcohol
loosening an already
slippery tongue
direct your concerns
i can’t read between the lines
you seemed to be laughing
and i hope it wasn’t
at my expense
although i did pay
more than was necessary
but it adds up.
they told me to speak up.
i’m too quiet.
so i raised my voice.
but then they told me
to stop shouting.
i apologized, i learned only to raise
my voice when angry.
they asked me to do something i don’t like,
how else was i suppose to respond?
am i to know to act another way if i don’t know?
i admitted ignorance,
or in the least,
misguidance to my natural center,
what else do you want?
i hope i’m not shouting still.
if so, excuse my ineptitude.
i’m still learning.
