Thinking of doing

do or think
what comes first?
i thought of doing something
but i can’t control my heart
or my lungs
so what is driving?
control is a misplaced reaction
to an essential chaos
i’m glad for my bodily functions
for whose thoughts subsist
life continues without thought
for those who think
detach from the whole
unity persists beyond a singularity
that tries to be more

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Putting you before me except after, let’s see

what’s worth all this fighting and control if what we fight for and try to control is extinguished the moment we die? of course, we should not give up on living an ideal of a good life, but is there a way to attain what we want without hurting others? in a similar fashion of lessening our environmental footprint, can we not take the same precautions towards that of our fellow neighbours? there are things i want in life and in order to get them i must put myself first. although, in doing so i feel like i’ve now become an obstacle in someone else’s pursuit. i question my self-worth and don’t see why i should value myself over another. progress cannot be made atop of faulty foundation. i guess i really should just take stock and invest it in a stronger framework. i know that where i’m going, there’s no need to rush, nor will i have to¬† cut in line. the finish line is marked, but the end is indeterminate. i might a well suck the life out of each second because that’s how long it all takes.

I draw lines

i start with one point
and slowly,
it swerves.
here
there
shit, i don’t know where else.
i just follow the tool.
i thought i was in control,
but i was outsmarted by the tool.
this line started out
with thought,
but ended in feeling.
and what i felt turned out
to be chemically induced.
i step back.
all i see is a
scribble.