Crapping myself for civility

ever shit your pants?
i’m sure you have.
well, have you ever done such
a thing as an adult in control?
obviously, at this moment, i was not.
i graduated to underwear from diapers,
it seems to me that i needed more practice.
i was in the process of relieving myself of some gas,
when what followed, moisture.
no, it wasn’t just really warm,
it was in fact shit.
how could this happen?
did my body trick me?
i think i got careless.
on a positive note,
it reaffirms my belief that
i am an animal.
if it weren’t for this restrictive clothes,
i could be free to be me.
of course, that’s not civilized.
but war, torture and hate,
those don’t scream civility.
at least i know i can clean myself up.
other people, well, it’s up to themselves.

Advertisements

Unfair treatment of cleaning products

would you feel comfortable if you knew that every inanimate object you have in your possession is actually a living thing? i usually think like this, more specifically about cleaning tools. take the vacuum for instance, do you really want to be sticking you head in dirty dark corners of a basement or have your face run along a spill splattered floor? I feel guilty for subjecting them to their established utility because i’m just using them out of laziness. although, i guess i can’t feel to guilty for using them, seeings how i continually employ them. if they didn’t do such a great job, i would have no need for their services. luckily i don’t want to clean, so i use a tool to do my work. i can only hope that the vacuum doesn’t talk to the plunger. no reason for a strike.

Be kind to your bathtub

i’ve got lint between my toes.
it doesn’t bother me so much.
i think my bathtub minds, though.
water being the main
source of consumption,
i’m sure its not happy
with foreign objects.
i know that hair makes it sick.
well, it’s got to be a lot of hair.
and not short hair, long hair.
there’s only so much it can take
before the dirt returns.
and remember
delint before bathing,
no need for messes.