Art of a habit

i must apologize,
i’m touching myself again.
it’s hard not to.
i’m plagued with an insatiable urge,
but once entertained,
it passes.
trying to ignore it,
makes me focus on it more.
creativity is much the same to me,
i’ll have urges that come in waves,
and i tend them when i need.
it seems i have more habits
than i realize.

Living to make-believe understanding

Since I was 5 years old, I’d always had a compulsion to make, but that doesn’t mean I was destined to become a creative. I just happened to like art-related things. And just because I’ve got a diploma in an art related field, doesn’t mean shit.

Or maybe it means exactly that? No, that can’t be true. Who in the right mind wants to hire someone for their shit? A coprophile? A farmer? Either way, I’m not a big enough shit, nor produce enough to satisfy the needs of supply and demand. I create because it’s fun to imagine. Now I’m feeling pressure that I must create things that hold retail value with no real intrinsic value.

I still live to pretend, maybe imagine the ideal. But I’ve noticed, this can be harmful to one’s own mental health. Living contrary to reality is an open request for hardship, but can also be a source of inspiration. I think the problem is that the environments I’m immersed in do not encourage my creative tendencies. Therefore, I’m left creating halfhearted ideals whose force is expunged but misconception. Or, I just create when I want to create because making things when I feel like it usually turn out better than those that are forced.

It seems that I’ve spent my life creating something do not understand. But according this newly acquired paper, I know something. Then what’s with all this doubt?

Creating a movement of naturalism

I’m not entirely sure what it means to be creative.
is it to make something?
surely that cannot be the only defining feature.
I poop, does that mean I’m creative?
or does what I create have to have some sort of stylistic flare?
maybe I produced an artful poo?
Could it be that my toilet mount was flawless.
I was able to disengage my belt and zipper in one felt swoop,
that left the toilet’s mouth agape in awe?
Ready to receive one of my most natural possessions.
If to make was the meaning to create,
then I’m guilty of daily creation.

Drawing experience a line at a time

Recently, I’ve slowly tried to re-acquaint myself with the drawing fundamentals, more specifically gesture drawing. My hope is to infuse my final characters with more dynamism and depth. I know that there’s a right way and a wrong way, but since art is so open ended, what’s right could be wrong and vice versa.

As I see it, art is a very large umbrella. Art, be it through equations or delineation, is just another means of expression. Granted, we all have the ability to express ourselves, but the way in which we convey meaning lays an artist. I’m having a difficulty labeling myself an “artist” when what I express and my mode of communication can be emulated by many. Heck, I’m probably stealing from someone right now and I don’t even know it.

Let’s add some dynamism and depth I’m practicing with. So this past Tuesday I had an elderly women accuse me of trying to knife her while I was at work. Keep in mind, I’m at my place of employment that is equipped with cameras, plentiful employees and roaming customers, everywhere. To make a long story short, I was handing my box cutter to a fellow co-worker when the woman accused me of attempted murder. Luckily, the police mentioned that they’ve had to deal with this specific woman before, do to their mental illness, that I felt a little more at ease.

This has been a hot topic recently, but I’d never been subjected to such an acute situation. First off, it scared me. Was she serious or not? Secondly, who does she know who can do me harm? Thirdly, how do I respond? I realize now that my response to the situation was just adding aggravation to the unstable woman. Lastly, and I hoped against, was having to defend myself. I know, from a 5″2′, at most, woman aged around 55-65 years old. Come on, who wants to knock out their own grandma?

Surely this is not a dynamic gesture drawing, but I hope it illustrates a difficulty I’m finding in categorizing myself, amongst many well-deserved and honored people true to the title of artist. I’m not an artist, just someone who appreciates those who are.

 

Artfully wanking

I say this in relation to my own creative endeavors, for I think their sum equates to nothing more than a mere stroke of the ego. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy completing a project, yet dissatisfaction slowly creeps in following its consummation. Nothing ever feels as fresh and strong once it leaves my mindscape. Maybe this can all be attributed to my lack of talent. Granted, that is partial reason for concern,  but I think it has more to do with trying to encapsulate the essence and force of spontaneity. Upon the initial realization in the mind, it loses its intensity by way of constraints, which, ultimately, renders what was originally thought of as fake and contrived. And to be honest, this could very well be one of those instances. That being said, these efforts are not in vain, for they still serve a purpose. It just so happens I’m unable to categorize them. I’ve seemed to have fallen short of a climax, lest even a build up to such an event. At least I know where I started, it’s just finding the right place to end.

Thoughtful pictures

This is just something that, if you enjoy photography, you’ll like this. If you don’t, I’m sure that you still will like this. The work is a mixture of photography and digital manipulation to the point of hyper-realism. There are some thoughtful imagery produced within Mladen Penev’s projects/photographs. Overall, solid looking pictures that ask questions or just shock for shock sake. Check out here for the works of art by Mladen Penev.

Looking to laugh, look here

I wanted to add this into the mix because I felt it necessary to make my blog design oriented, yet not so stiff and serious. The artist of these illustrations, who by chances happens to be a  graphic designer, Glenn Jones, takes two similar or completely opposite subjects/topics, and grounds them in something relatable to each portrayed subject/topic, or to something experienced in everyday life. It’s a visual display of observational humor in some respect. Whatever you want to call it, it is pretty darn funny. The aesthetic, in my opinion, is slick, clean and crisp, much like that of the artists humor. Check out the link here and here. The first link is the initial showcase of this artists work on the website, Twisted Sifter, and the second link, well it’s the second mention of the artist.